Unveiling the Unspoken Mantra: Untangling the Internal Messaging for Survival in Life and Work

Have you taken a close look at your life (at home and at work)? Have investigated why you dress the way you do? Do you wonder why you never initiate contact in a gathering or why you can only talk shop?

The internal messaging for survival becomes our mantra to the life we create. This mantra is repeatedly seen in everything that we do and everything that we choose to become. A survival skill.

I will ‘be perfect’ setting unrealistic expectations of myself and even those around me. There will be no room for mistakes; not for me and not for my colleagues or my loved ones. And since being perfect is my mantra, I cannot slip. I must therefore be careful as to the kind of challenges I might accept because I fear failure.

 I will be the nicest friendliest person around even if it is at my cost. This will help me get the acknowledgement and validation from others although at my expense. Eventually this could lead me to burn out. One more assignment at work, one more social gathering or one more act of volunteering.

I will be the first to reach the finish goal, doesn’t matter the quality of work that has been put in. I many lose precious moments and experiences. This could lead to stress and anxiety because I never learned to slow down. I forgot to enjoy myself and have fun with the process of getting somewhere.

I will have to do everything on my own so why bother asking anyway. I choose resilience, emotional independence and do not allow myself to be vulnerable. I forget to seek out support or ask for help. I don’t take breaks because that could mean I am weak. I deal with everything and forget to show compassion to the self.

I will try hard and drive teams and reach targets. Almost like a task master and known for your efficiency. Achieving numbers and finding self-worth in that alone. This may result in feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Understanding your mantra could help in understanding of the patterns that occur in your life. Your behaviours will now have greater meaning. You will now have the power to change these patterns or use the same mantra to your benefit. Understand your mantra and find out what influences your behaviour and empower yourself to make intentional choices and healthier interactions.